life is weird.
cant really understand wats really going on.. sometimes u cant have the best in everything.. but i wounded up in a kinda good platoon which kinda nice seniors. but then again.. onli time will tell... already pple are saying tat its a good place.. but i guess i have to really see it for myself.. which is tomolo night. sigh, tomolo start duty. so soon! for the rest of my 1 year +++++ im gonna be stuck with mount dismount stand by training... its kinda driving me nuts! hmm.. not tat im complaining, others are getting worse shit considering they have to stay in. hmm.. oh well... lets see wat happens next.... keeping my fingers crossed........

i realise its pretty hard to get someone out when her bf is someone u know.
cuz tat usually mean tat she will get her bf, then u wll be ddp...
feel kinda lame and stupid.. how well....
shall see how things go...

dont worry, u dint upset me. was just thinking tru, tat is all.

but then again, wont u be tired if u keep protecting urself from frens just becuz they may hurt u? its not a matter of pouring ur heart out but opening it.

idealy, i would wan a fren where i can be truthful to and that theres this zenith level of trust and faith. but realistically, thats quite impossible. but then again, i dont need perfectness in everything, i just wan the effort to strive for perfectness.

i hope i myself can be a true fren to someone too. tats all tat really matters.

i realise im kinda naive..
not tat tats bad.. but it isent good either..

anyway, kinda realised tat there is no close fren close enuff to know 100% abt u. maybe 50%, or better 60%... i guess even 70% is kinda hard..
why am i harping on it?
hmm..
well i used to think that between closest of frends, there shuld be this certain level or transparency between them... but obviously this is not true as even closest of frends know not of ur darkest secret... its kinda filtered membrane where ur frens onli know things which they need to know.. as they say in army. need to know basis...
i makes me kinda sad, that theres no one in the world where ur comfortable enuff to bare ur hearts out... i guess even btw bgr, or married couples there is no such thing as 'there shall be no secret btw us'. then wats the point of having frens/gerfrends/boyfrens/husbands/wives when u cant even trust them?

well, i guess i shant step into their mistakes...

went band concert yesterdae.

was pretty ok. but playing can be improved hmm..
horns still kinda bad.
ensemble first 2 kinda lame, cuz the instrument combination was like weird?
anyway the last one was good.. asraf singing was furnie.

el cam was ok, but sounded weak at slow parts..
pirates was pretty horrible. no strings. kinda empty.
best piece was encore.
tat pretty sums it all up...

then after concert went out with horn section pple to see the 3 gers bitching awae.. haha.. they are soo totally lame and furnie and they keep harping on how they are gonna be the one with the uni hottest guy no. 1 ... so lame... (btw if ur wondering who they are, nah...)

had been a long and crazy week..
pop this week, so now officially a mp. not really a big deal or fuss to make abt.. mp is just another vocation. posted to gombak, tho i really wanted to go zpc instead. especially since i can continue my tkd. so i was quite sad... anyway wats done is done...

anyway i dont like gombak.. tat pretty sums it all up.

book out on fri. just wack game.

sat nothing much. morning stayed at home to play game till like around 6 which i left for section dinner at fish and co. was damn lame and furnie, especially how LKY actually has the balls to 1)sing in front of the whole place 2) request to take photo with a good looking waitress.. haha.. was pretty lame and we jsut talk cock.. damn nice to have them around cuz they always joke and talk cock.

sun went church then met qh cry and her bf to get a present for qh fren. was pretty fun also cuz get to walk around and talk more cock. ended up in cartel where we sat for 3 hrs getting qh to turn up for the cycling event. hah. enjoyable tho expensive! argh..

mon went cycling.. dint start out early cuz we waited for vic, thats it for whole dae. got to climb spider web. then we all went home at around 4+. poor cry have to go home alone cuz qh and jeri bike home. hah.

todae book in gombak, horrible place. just there to do saikang and listen to talk in afternoon.. super slack. got pple play ps 2 there somemore.. hmm.. tomolo starting with the actuall ojt so wont be tat slack. sigh.. but least its 8-5. todae reached home earliest. hah. cuz book out at 5 reach home at 6. lolz. power.. tot i could book out at 16 59. but the door was lock... so by the time it was open its 1700... sad...

i give up giving up...

anyway got posted to gombak.
which kinda make me miss all the instructors in safpu..
they all are really nice. especiall the staffs and warrants.
unlike my new place.
which kinda stinks.

no point complaining.
im stuck there...

looks like its gonna be pretty boring army life.
i rather be guardroom. more boring but at least im still in safpu...
i miss safpu. already...

i give up.

this has been one of the worse week ever i had in NS.

sorry if i snapped at anyone.
but then agian, im not really repentent about it.

not gonna elaborate much, but just tat
1) horrendously tiring week. after 2 daes 1 night outfield, we had rest of the weeks filled up with stores and drills and tat kinda suck.

2) lots of things happened during the short 2 daes and 1 night and something occurred killed my mood totally.

3) worried abt posting results, especially after seeing f-up pple going better places.

4) politics. major politics going on. and i totally hate tat. (talk abt peer apprasial)

5) and im disappointed with myself.

all in all, im pissed, tired, worn out, edgy, angsty, irritated, irked, disturbed, mentally and emotionally unbalance and im SICK AND TIRED of pleasing pple.

dont bother asking me wats these all abt.
it will just get me more pissed.


on lighter note, i got guild war! and its pretty cool... so far.. hope to play lots and lots of it in the future... keep my fingers cross.. hah...

ok.
this week has pretty much be in a blur.
excercise almost everydae. hah. so was tiring week. horrendously tiring.

after seeing how blogs can get sued i fear saf is tracking this as well.. i better know wat i post. hah.

anyway tomorrow is excercise hell. gonna play war for 2 daes. hmm.. hope i survive. cuz its gonna be pretty shag. hah. after the first 3 daes then honeymoon liaoz!

i really really wish i end up some where 8-5 .....

ok im thrown with an option. tats is to go brunei for a year and earn regular pay. im still considering. sounds pretty good, since i got rejected by ALL the scholarship this may prove to be the way out for me.. hmmm...

time really flies when ur jsut slacking and doing nuthing.
well so here i am blogging abt events of the past..

last week was a blitz. tho guard duty was a drag but full dae c&r, id location excercise and gpmg firing make the week seem short. haha

book out, went home rest. sat book back in to settle stores. then met up with cry to get win xp cd then just hang around. suppose to get something but in the end i gave up. then wound up in suntec in some rip off cafe and yar. basically. mall crawling.

then sun went church, do the usual stuffs. came home to rest. invited li over to stay overnite to watch movie. manage to watched league of extraordinaly gentlemen and a bit of lost in translation. tho the latter movie like kinda crap.

then todae do nuthing . went back school to hear the juniors play then went gelare in ECP to sit and talk crap. kinda relaxing and nice to have old frens together. wat a hard chance to get by...

gonna book in soon. take care peeps. its gonna be hell week.