more angsty post.
yay


tat happens when ur thrown in a gate all by urself for 1 1/2 hours. u start to think, and u think too much.

so it happened tat my thoughts wandered to my uni studies few years later, and was toying with the idea of maybe taking up aeronautic engineering when i realised tat i don have any concrete plan of wat to do after ns.

tats wat to do during uni.

im still am pretty interested in aeronautics. but im afraid tat i cant deal with it. like maybe im to stupid to do well in it? i have this forebrooding tat i will flunk my uni studies no matter wat path i take. since tats gonna be the ulitmate out come, it doesn really matter wat i took rite?

of cuz getting results of mine for A levels would cuz pple to ridicule me and insist tat im actually over worrying myself to death.

but my uneasiness abt the future is not totally unfounded.

lets do a background study. note tat all examples are all nuthing but facts.

i came from neighbourhood pri school, so i manage to get some modest marks for my psle, like 244 or 242 cant really remember.
the top ger then got 250+++, ad went to anderson.
the next ranking one got 249 i think and went to st nicks
the next one went to cat high
then tats me i guess who went to vs.

so yar, i was like top 5 in school. but its aint any biggie

then o levels i got 10 points, which in everyone opinion is average, tho some pple may argue tat its quite insane to get 10 points, but when ur surrounded by pple who keep smooching into 6 points like a walk in the park, 10 points is actually not tat great.
tho i din manage to know wat my p fren got for o levels, i found out tat another ger got 10 points but she ain in the mention top 5. the top ger went to sjc. the second ger went nyjc. [or is it the opposite?] the guy went sajc and i landed up in vjc due to the fact tat i was smart enuff to join band.

then came a levels and yada i got my score, the top ger in my p school got bcc i think the rest not so sure.

tats when the moment of truth hit me.

wat happened to them? its like whoops, i made a bg fall. Its quite impossible cuz i remember them being smarter and more hardworking than me. unless they got themselves in a complicated bgr problem, i guess nailing 4 As shuldn be a problem for them.

so another moment of truth hit me. so far my good results must be from God. [for qh & cry ->yar go some corner and laugh abt it]. there had to be no other way. it seems surreal tat i even made it this far.

life is weird.
and another fact, i was in the last class for primary 1, last class for sec 1 and last class for jc [not tat it really count, but its still pretty cool i think :) ] so it shows tat there were like the rest of the school tat could be better than me?

i still remembered tat in jc 1, like after first 2 or 3 weeks of school, mr chow said to me 'i expect u to get A for physic'. im like, weird. so yar i did get it in the end, but the journey wasnt easy, i manage to secure a last place in class for a test during my jc 2! wow.

so now im worried abt my uni. life been too smooth sailing for me, i doubt i be able to take a rough current, let alone a storm.

God bless me.