sometimes i feel really useless in the sense that i have no income, and thus, unable to satisfy certain spending habits that her friends are able to shower her with.

which in someway, induces me to want to start work early, to earn more money early, so that i can lavish her earlier.

But, that is not within my control. If things go accordingly to plan, by the time i have money, she would not be here for me to lavish on anymore.

on another note, the 6th of nov is coming in another 2 weeks time. hopefully, things will be better for me, and we can close this chapter in our relationship and move on to other things.